• Last day of February



    Last day of February.
    I'm supposed to start moving tonight, but I just don't have the strength to pack my things.
    I was thinking about maybe going to some restaurant with niki, shinji or anyone, after I handed in the god damn thing. But then nobody was there. The one that was there like valdet, didn't want to. So I went back home alone. On my way home I was thinking about Subway, the only thing near my home that I wouldn't be unhappy to eat. But then it was already closed when I got there. It was 6 p.m. for god's sake! So I ended up with kebab next door. And it turned out to be the worst meal, the worst EVER, meal after I came to this country. It's just that everything in my plate was deeply uneatable.
    I went to bed instantly after I got home. I stayed up till 4 a.m. last night. Before that I kind of checked my email and found that Kevin failed, that's what he said, failed. But I was then not conscious enough to think about it. I fell asleep the second I hit my bed. I slept for two and a half hours. After I woke up, I suddenly realized how lucky I am.
    I cannot think of a thing that I failed and really feel regret about. The only thing that can be called a failure for me is when I was in junior high, I failed the entrance exam of a famous high school by two points. But then I did not even want to go to that school. And that it turned out the best for me to go to another one. And Kevin failed that school four years later anyway. But I could've failed Tsinghua, 'cause I got at least 50% of the chance to fail it, I knew it. I could've failed my first choice of major, 'cause I wasn't even thinking about it. I could've failed the scholarship to Sweden, 'cause it was 3 out of 12. I could've even totally failed the entrance exam to boarding school when I was 13, 'cause then nobody thought I would get it, even my dad, who drove me to the exam.
    But I just got them all. I applied for summer jobs in the third year of university and I got them and the manager liked me. I applied for internship in Shenzhen, and I got it and lived most happily in that city for three months and went to many grand trips with the colleagues. I even got accepted to some event in Tokyo, which I didn't have time to go to later. I got everything I've applied for. The things I didn't get are those I didn't want.
    I never realized this because I always thought that's how it should be. But now Kevin failed something important and made me aware of the fact that I'm lucky. Hmmm...I just hope he would not be too depressed and cheer up soon again =)



  • There is a saying:the god closed the door, and should open a window for one~ good luck for people who has a strong will!